My flashbacks used to carry such an intensity, it was paralyzing.
Perhaps it was this intermittent paralysis which spurred me to perform and articulate, whenever I had a modicum of control over my being. It almost felt like I needed to compensate for the moments where I lacked words and expression.

Ahh, the camcorder I used to perform in front of. Thank goodness inanimate objects are incapable of judgment.